Support Your Spirit in the North

In some Shamanic traditions, the directions are associated with certain states that humans experience. For example, the north is associated with cold and winter. Think of a small fire in a cave with a storm howling outside. Think of a warrior regaining strength to fight again, recovering from wounds and exhaustion, eating fat meat and thin gruel. Think of a small group around this fire, sharing their stories, maybe quietly chanting prayers. Think of cold and silence, endurance and survival. This is spiritual north.

Our culture seems to label any state that is not happy and lasts more than a couple of days as “depression.” Depression is a real physical thing and if you suspect you are suffering from it, time to consult professionals. I am talking about spiritual time spent in the north, which is part of a full life. Just not the fun part.

I have spent most of my fifties in the north. The decade opened with my failing marriage that took with it my much beloved family and place and the role that I thought I would grow old in. I moved five times while my strong father got ALS and quickly died. My stepfather got dementia and died, leaving my sweet mother bereft. My favorite uncle and then aunt, gone too. My dear mother-in-law Despina in Crete. And at this time about two years ago, my mom started her own dying process. Which, like most of the things she set her mind to, she accomplished quietly and well.

I know all the things I have been told about this decade. How fortunate I was to have them so long, how natural this is, how I was so lucky to spend time with them in their last days and other positivity things. Thank you for saying them but it does not matter. If we choose to show up for our lives, we must spend time in the north.

Is spiritual north a flat grey wasteland with no experience of joy? No, that sounds more like clinical depression and again, that needs the help of experts. North feels more constant and, in some ways, safe. But it is a hard place from which to start new relationships or new jobs or new experiences. It is a place where you ruminate. It is not a place where you go; it is a place where you are.

To be honest, if you are a human being who is willing to experience what life offers us, best make yourself a stronghold in the north. Know it is waiting for you when all you can do is wait. Here are some things that come to mind that might support you as you take a quick trip north or settle in for most of a decade.

First, thank the north. Yes, I know this is not what you planned on nor what you want. But the north shelters us as we face the hardest and saddest things, and allows us time to integrate our experiences. It is the shelter from the storm. You can weep in your north cave at any time and no one expects you to be chipper. You can move slowly and accomplish little. It is grey and it is cold, but it will hold you when you need to be held. When I pray I thank the north for sheltering me.

Second, be willing to be there, even if you are not willing to accept what brought you there. The north is not a time of super productivity or outward energy. It is a time that will teach you much, if you do the work. And much of the work involves being slow or even still. Of slowly working your way through distractions of activity or alcohol or food or Tinder or whatever else you use to not be there. Go against everything our culture says is acceptable and be there.

Third, consider a few objects that you can take with you. My hot water bottle, my bed, my green hoodies, my Giotto print of Judas betraying Jesus and my DC Ice painting of the Wolf in the Castle come north with me. The objects affirm that it is north time and that is just what is needed.

Fourth, consider some herbal support. I am not suggesting herbs to push you out of the north, but to make your time there deeper and to help you choose what you would never choose. Here are some suggestions:

1) The worts: motherwort and St John’s wort. Both support nervous system calm and strength. I use both in tincture form, although when I get stuck in a cave, I look to St John’s wort capsules to help me out. I know that does not work for everyone, but it has kept me off anti-depressants since 1994.

2) For grief, you might consider hawthorn, rose and holy basil. I have just brewed a tincture of hawthorn and rose hips, which I am fondly calling “Heartbreak remedy.”

3) Stay warm with plants like ginger or cayenne. Ginger tea with honey soothes digestion and warms you up.

4) Nutritive herbs like nettle or even root vegetables like pumpkin or squash can be easy to digest in the north.

5) When I need gentle but pervasive support, I turn to flower essences. I have one that my friend Bonnie and I made of fireweed, which takes on the ruins left by the patriarchy. If you feel like you can’t speak up or you have been tossed about by forces larger than you, hit me up for some. In addition, Bach’s classic Rescue Remedy has been my best friend through the fear and grief caused by the pandemic.

6) My mentor Gigi Stafne is an advocate of the pines. She makes pine needle tea in the actual late winter and I think this astringent but nourishing tea could help with any spiritual north time. I think it tastes just like the north should taste.

7) As the season of Imbolc signals the breaking up of the ice / winter and the time to add digestive bitters to your diet, maybe when you think your time in the north is ending, find some digestive bitters like dandelion greens. Give yourself permission to move to the east.

8) Do a gut check. Serotonin is manufactured in your gut so support gut health. Most refrigerated probiotics can help you improve your gut health as can live kombucha, fermented foods, yogurt and kefir.

The idea of the north helps me refrain from medicalizing the natural pain of being alive. If you relate to this experience and want some information from an herbalist, please do contact me.

This information is not intended to take the place of personalized medical counseling, diagnosis and/or treatment by a trained physician. Herbs and other botanicals are presently classified by the Food and Drug Administration as foods, not as medicines.

The photographer is Elle Kokkinos. Minnehaha Falls on September 29, 2018.